Thursday, December 18, 2014

You Can't Hurry Love

photo: Cam Patterson  

Having watched them make out at a wedding like a pair of teenagers, I could not help but ask Carola to tell me more about a love that has spanned four decades. 

In Carola's own words:

Bob and I met in the old Ratner's Second Avenue in June 1970.

The guy I was sort of seeing had a breakfast date with Bob, and I tagged along. Over borscht and eggs, Bob and I got into a big fight about Jean Luc Godard and the Dziga Vertov collective. I thought he was obnoxious. He liked the way I fought. Later, discovering a shared passion for Dreiser, we became friends, but not lovers till 1972.  

I can't totally explain what happened after that. I went off to an ashram, did the things you do there, quit, came home, and it was like a bubble floated to the top of my mind and out popped this idea: spend the rest of my life with Bob.

It was a very, very good idea. How I knew Bob would go for it is another story. You can read it in his forthcoming memoir, Going Into The City.

The decision to get married came a few years later. I think I thought that for us marriage was essentially a chapter in a story already in progress, but Bob approached it from a somewhat different place, and before long, we ended up in the same place.

This was 1974, and the idea of a feminist marriage was subject to debate, to say the least. For our ceremony, we rewrote the Book of Common Prayer to include the words "erotic" and "struggle."

Although we used to argue a lot, we've always been very compatible—apparently one thing we had in common was that we liked to argue a lot. Our personalities are very different, but our values actually quite similar.

Luck comes into these things, too. We had the luck to recognize what we could have together.

We had some hard times, of course, one of them a real doozy. But we were the people we wanted to spend our lives with.

And we knew it.

Related Posts:


Big Leaps And Little Steps In The March To Commitment

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Remembering Sunday Memories on Monday: Christmas/Time

Gathering again, the lobby, for a brief moment, reminded us, like Dorian Gray's portrait...

...that there were holes in between one another.... missing neighbors heralded time fleeing.

Yet, Wallace still pranced with optimism.

This was his feast, knowing dozens of hands would reach down and slip a holiday treat.  Worth it to wear the bow.

And old friends, constant neighbors, traveling comrades still had things to say.

After all, there were still things to discover.

But, as the familiar walls echoed all our decades together...

... there were new neighbors, making their own memories of early times when they were young in the old building.

Related Posts:

Sunday Memories: Ghosts Of Christmas Past, Present And Future

Sunday Memories: It's A Wonderful Lobby

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Friday, December 12, 2014

Friday's Child Is Loving And Giving
And T'Is The Season To Be That Way

The Goldie Report

(o.k., maybe not.  maybe just waiting for more chicken)

It's hard to believe that over a year ago, she was a waaaay-too-skinny kitten that Social Tees rescued from a backyard on East Fourth Street.

Now she is our 'Little Girl' who plays fetch with us, cuddles up while we write and when she wants food at 5 a.m., she gets it. 



These two magnificent mugs, both adopted from Social Tees, now have their own Instagram account! 

It's addictive!! Check out this cuter-than-cute pair via @titusandstella

Ruby is 9 years old, extremely affectionate, and needs to get out of her cage so she can stretch her stripey legs and lose some weight... She's a little hefty, and the vet says she needs to drop a few pounds. Ruby is low maintenance and chirps when she wants attention, would be best as the only pet in the home. Email now if you can give her a temporary home!




Social Tees have lots of adoptable kittens and more on the way!!! Come meet them!! 

325 East 5th Street, NY, NY 10003
5-7pm weekdays
12-4pm weekends



Come Volunteer!!! 

Come Visit!!!!

 Come On In!!!!! 

Social Tees   
325 East 5th Street, NY, NY 10003

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Going Forward Glancing Back

The 'wine' store has more hard booze bottles then wine in its half-a-block window.   O.K., so some of them are made of plastic and have nothing in them.  But, they and the rows of florescent lights lay bare what the real deal is inside the big store.

This place is the place of ye olde cocktail hour, when people actually mixed drinks at the end of a long day.  Since the neighborhood surrounding it still has those folks, perhaps now retire, business is still brisk.

I went in once - young and brokenhearted, facing the holidays alone - and stumbled out with a pint in the back pocket of my jeans.  It was the only paint-stroke I could think of that looked like how I felt.   Obviously, the rest of the evening didn't go well.

The next 36 years passing that brightly-lit window was like rushing past a furious smear of white light, as if graffiti had been blasted  away but lettering in the shape of bottles still peered through, insisting their permanency.

It was only on a walk down to make necessary peace in an old beloved bar that a new eye looked into the doorway.

How long had that fish been there?

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Arbitrary Snapshots of Changes
At The Speed Of Life

Preparing for everything

Disappearing at a party

Rushing through rain

Building relentlessly

Staring at food on the other side of a locked door

Hoping for a clearer picture

Stopping for nothing

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Saying Goodbye To De Robertis - Sunday Memories: Back To The Future

On that last night, we suddenly saw the wedding dollies.  Had never seen them before.  They could have been there, but sometimes you don't see something until you are ready to see it.

Doug had already convinced John that he was also marrying the Mariner and me and that the three of us were all off to marital bliss. 

Doug about to make trouble

So, as I stared at the dollies, John offered to take an extra man off one the others. He thought Doug was serious.

"It's New York so you never know," he said politely.  

I let the Mariner pick out the one we wanted.  We wanted the same one.

Doug said he was thrilled John thought that because he, Doug, was worthy of me, but I think Doug was just being sweet and diplomatic.

And maybe the Wedding sign had always been there...

 ...but the pastries were on the other side, so I never saw it until that last night.

The Pasticceria would have been a perfect place to celebrate getting married.  

And yet with the dollies safely home, it feels no matter where we end up and no matter if the dollies are on top of a cupcake or a pile of latkes, we will be, as we always have been coming for sweets and coffee at De Robertis, home.

Long Live the Pasticceria. And good night, De Robertis, wherever you are.

Related Posts:

Saying Goodbye to De Robertis-Part Two: Snapshots of Parting, Such A Sweet Sorrow

Saying Goodbye to De Robertis-Part One: "Life Is Uncertain - Eat Dessert First"