Thursday, June 5, 2008

An Untitled Day - Part II


Later I force her use the walker we just got her because none of us are strong enough to hold her up anymore. Especially when she does that I- gotta- sit- down- collapse- on- the- floor thing. That walker is our safety net. It has a chair and it can hold her weight on its arms better than me or P. or G. She is pissed off about having to use it but does what I tell her and grabs the handles and starts shoving herself through space. I shout all the right things like You Have to Get Your Strength Back and You're Doing Great and Let's Go You're Strong.

She's as bad a driver as me and neither of us can get the walker through one doorway and into another without banging chairs, walls, the secretary desk thing, bookcases, and more chairs.

I put on THE PARENT TRAP with Lindsey Lohan because I don't have anything left inside to watch SINGING IN THE RAIN for the thirtieth time I just don't. There's nothing left inside.

THE PARENT TRAP is a miserable movie for both of us. She can't follow it because there is no music to take her through a familiar story and while I wince at the bad writing and crude acting, but marvel at the young Lohan, I answer Florence's repeated questions about the title the plot the actors the title the plot the actors the title the plot and soon it's over ...

...and I surrender and put on SINGING IN THE RAIN and Florence begins to sing furious each and every note and soon to hell with Gene Kelly where ever he is in the song, she motions me to join in and I sing along with her "... in the rain, what a glorious feeling..."

And she snaps "YOU'RE NOT SINGING IT IN TUNE!"

6 comments:

Drewali said...

Claire,


this is a beautiful blog. You are such a wonerful writer. The structure of which write allows me to visualize the scenerio...the situation.

With this said,

How is your mom?

It seems as though everyday is a battle for her.

From being able to fully function to the point where actions that were once easy to do, have become a daily challenge.

For this, I am greatly inspired and I commend her. You also are an inspiration. Im sure she is so greatful to have you there coaching her on.

Thats a beautiful thing.

You know, my grandmother does the same thing with singing. :)

When she sings, it is as if she is a child again...or has that spirit of a child.

I just LoVE to be around her while she is in a state of happiness. It helps me understand more of that positive energy from within her
and also how it puts focus of what counts the most...peace of mind.
I LoVE to see that within her.
She is a beautiful lady as well as your mom. :)

*I am sure your mother is in good hands when around you. Especially with the amazing energy that you have*

I hope you both are in peace.
You will both be in my thoughts. :)

*Can't wait to read more*

~Drewali L.~ (Drew)

c.o. moed said...

Drew, Only you could see beauty and sweetness in such frustrating circumstances. Truly, if I get another crack at another life I hope to be born with your heart and soul and perspective.

Florence is better and worse than before. Sometimes clearer, sharper, sometimes physically deteriorating into a worse state. Sometimes she surprises us all. Like Moses and the Hebrews it is an unknown journey toward some promise land of peace. Or at least a better sandwich.

Bucko said...

You Have to Get Your Strength Back and You're Doing Great and Let's Go You're Strong

These words parents use with children--I used them with students--and now you have to say these things. Do they become true because we say them? Do they cancel out, somehow, the other words that might make us drop to the floor like dear Florence?

I had to laugh at the walker saga, which I don't know is exactly appropriate. But I can't help thinking of those marks all over the walls. You got a gift of pricking out a laugh in the middle of feeling so much of the pain and confusion.

And I'd rather sing with Gene, too. Howabout a western? Just kidding.

Kay8tee said...

Complicated as life as you know it has become, there is still beauty in her words and wisdom...
Did you really ever sing in the rain, you know, sing in the rain?
Can so picture the scenario and hear words said to your mom. I worked with Alzheimer patients for close to 17 years and although questions, comments and movie songs are repeated, let's not forget that they, too, listened to us repeat the same type of questions, songs and demands as young children. I forever watched ET with my children and The Wizard of Oz with my residents.
A devastating thing to watch as a child with their parent, I always said, but I enjoyed my patients' personalities to the fullest while they were in my care!
Take heart...there are many who wish they could still hold their mom or dad even at the utmost state of their confusion!
God Bless and keep a furniture marker handy!

c.o. moed said...

Thank you so much Kay8tee for visiting and for your warm words of encouragement. And actually once I did sing as I rode my bike in a thunderstorm. At the time I hope it would be the magic key to the magic I saw on the screen. In this case, all I got was wet.

Looking forward to your future visits and comments.

c.o. moed said...

Also check out the other Florence stories (would love your take since you have so many years working with this population) - they're the ER stories, MY MAMA DONE TOLD ME, TAXI RIDE TO THE DOCTOR.