Tuesday, April 5, 2011

In Memory of Cindy: The Land Of The Quartchyard

One year in the 1980s a newspaper representing the invisible New York called for submissions to a contest of autobiographies about living in New York. I wrote about the land of the quartchyard (which is how we said courtyard which is where we grew up).

Cindy was part of the story. On my way to deliver the story to the office - this was before email was invented - I ran into Cindy on the street. We walked the envelope together to the offices of the newspaper. On the way, we met one of my "uptown" (ie East Village) friends. I never was more proud as when I introduced Cindy to my friend.

I didn't win. They were wrong. The piece was recently accepted into an anthology about the Lower East Side. And tonight I got the news that Cindy just died. Days before her 52nd birthday.



The Land of the Quartchyard
(1980s. revised 2006)

I grew up in the good part of a bad neighborhood. I thought we were rich. And, compared to others, we probably were. Rich meant a home that was warm, leak free, more than two rooms, in an apartment building with reasonably clean halls, and an elevator that ran almost all the time. Amalgamated Dwellings. My mother still lives there.

It was called the Courtyard but we pronounced it Quartchyard. I didn’t know I said it like that until my cousins from Philadelphia told me I did. I thought I was talking English like the rest of the world.

Amalgamated was built by garment union people. It was the first North American housing cooperative built in a European courtyard style. A graduate student of architecture told me that in one of those “I-know-NY-I’ve-lived-here-ten minutes” tone of voice. He did take a break from his throne when I told him I had grown up in that there North American European courtyard. The conversation ended when he started talking to me like I was a pushy Jewish woman looking for a husband because that’s what he knew from TV. Go figure these tourists.

Amalgamated may have been the first whatever in north wherever but for us it was nothing but housing we could own at money we could afford. It was working people. It was socialism in brick. It was a mansion compared to the slums in the neighborhood. Mrs. F. on the 6th floor said she remembered watching Amalgamated be built and the neighborhood just abuzz with talk because there was going to be INDOOR PLUMBING and ELEVATORS like “Park Avenue going up in the middle of the Lower East Side.” She told me she was practically fainting when she moved in later.

Gary from the D building grew up in the tougher city projects on the other side of the Williamsburg Bridge. He used to come to the archway of the courtyard and think, “This must be the Garden of Eden.” He really believed it was. When his family moved in, his mother would get him to behave by threatening to tell the management what a bad boy he was and how, if he didn’t straighten up and fly right, they’d have to move back to the city projects. Terrified the shit out of him.

There was a fountain in the middle of the courtyard. There were big gold fish there for a few years, but maybe they got stolen or the alley cats ate them. For many years there were many cats. They all had names. Skinny, Mikey (she had one eye and one kitten every year), Friendly, Kushka (which means cat in Russian). Then the Amalgamated security guard, Mr. H the Cop. who lived in the G building tried to get rid of them. All we got in return was no cats and more mice. He was a survivor, but of what no one told us kids. Marcy said there was a tattoo. I never saw it.

All the old ladies would sit in lawn chairs all around the courtyard. They’d talk about us in Yiddish. I counted on Marcy and Cindy to tell me what they were saying. After a while I just assumed they were saying bad things about me and my family. My parents’ Reform Judaism practically made us Catholics in their eyes. I didn’t wear skirts and went to music school on Shabbos. I also went to the public school on Broome Street. I socialized with goyim. I didn’t observe the high holy days for real. But the old ladies also thought it was nice my mother played such a beautiful piano and gave free lessons to some of the kids in the neighborhood. Now, most of them are dead and the few that are still alive all got memos from the new management. No sitting outside in their lawn chairs. Makes it look tacky and tacky isn’t good when you are trying to sell homes at market rate. The old ladies do it anyways. “Fuck ‘em,” one said. “We were here first.” She said it in Yiddish.

The courtyard had a lot of grass. The only time we got to go on the grass was when it snowed. The rest of the year we walked around it. It used to snow a lot in New York. Don’t get me started on how the kids today runaround like its their personal park. It’s so unfair.

My father would point to the center of the playground between East Broadway and Henry Street and say, “There were tenements there. My family lived there.” All I saw was basketball hoops and empty space. Then he’d point to the corner of Columbia and Grand and say, “That used to be the sweatshop that me and your uncle George worked, weaving baskets. The inspectors would come and we’d hide in the back because we were underage.” But I only saw a solid brick apartment building and bushes and trees. I tried imagining my dad and Uncle George hiding in the bushes. It’s not even called Columbia Street anymore.

My mother tells me a story. She lived in a tenement on Clinton and Division Street. It’s no longer there. There’s a shopping center there now. She lived on the second floor. A print shop was on the first floor and in the basement was the bialy bakery. The oven was built right into the wall. In the middle of the night the deliveryman would call down to the baker, “Hey Seymour.” In those days they were called kuchen, not bialies.

Years later, all the new apartment buildings took the place of tenements and Division Street never left Chinatown. The bialy bakery moved into fancy new digs on Grand and Essex as part of the modern shopping center. A toy store, supermarket, pharmacy the movie house, fabric store. All new.

And years after that, my mother walked into the not-so-new-anymore bialy store and asked, “Is there a Seymour here?” He recognized her. She, over 60 and he remembered the young girl who lived on the second floor of a tenement that doesn’t exist anymore. He asked if she lived in Greenwich Village. That’s because she doesn’t look like an old Jewish lady. She looks like teenager. That’s because she is.

He just died recently. Only my mother remembers the voice in the night calling him Hey Seymour. What’s left?

The south side of Delancey was filled with stores and people and music and Dave’s beauty parlor where my whole family got our hair cut. I stole my first thing from the newsstand between Clinton and Suffolk, a penny stick of gum. But my mother caught me and made me not only return it, but apologize to the man behind the counter. They razed everything in the 1960’s. There’s still nothing there. For the last forty years every Wednesday afternoon Dave goes around and cuts and styles people’s hair in their apartments.

The best meatball hero sandwich I ever had was on Grand between Pitt and Ridge, but now there are more apartment buildings, Ridge doesn’t live there anymore and I have to look at a map to remember. How many people still say Willet Street?

The toy store is now a donut factory and the donuts cost $2.50. Each. The movie house is a clinic. The grumpy old man who sold fruit by the bus stop is still there but nobody knows why. The bodega has been gutted to become another outpost of the hippest pizza parlor from the east village and the streets are filled with the kind of people growing up we never saw anywhere except on TV shows like Dynasty and the Brady Bunch and maybe Dick Van Dyke. And now Amalgamated is considered luxury housing with apartments going for almost One Million Dollars. If my parents were starting life over again, we couldn’t afforded to live there.

When we were eleven or maybe twelve, I snuck cigarettes with Cindy on the roof of our building, her cigarettes; I was just along for the ride. But it was me who got in trouble; me labeled a rough girl, a no-goodnik, a bad influence. That’s because I can’t read Hebrew and I didn’t go to Yeshiva.

But when I see Cindy today, both of us trying not to indulge anymore in bad habits, we hug hello not just because we still love each other very much, but because we understand what it means to work and live outside the courtyard. And my accent, my original language from a neighborhood of memory, my mother tongue of an illiterate Jews comes to mouth and for a moment I am home, in a home I thought was rich and compared to others probably still is.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Sunday Memories: Let There Be Light


When morning chased the bums back into cardboard bedrooms propped against alleyways and chain link fences or for the richer ones, the many dark fleabag hotels that lined the Bowery, the light from these stores took their place and filled our fantasies with glamor only found in fairy tales and movies.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

No, We're Actually Pretty Effing Happy About It


This is Carolyn. Even though she was forced to grow up in Long Island, she started life in Queens. She's almost 50. She's never been married. She's never had kids.

She's taking a photography class at a very prestigious photography place. Her project? Portraits of other women of age who have never married and never had kids.

Rather than heed some of the suggestions made by some her classmates to take pictures of us looking all sad as we walked by baby stores, Carolyn decided to take pictures of how and what and who we really are.

Each one of us is at our own crossroad, reinventing our lives, rediscovering our talents, re-questioning our priorities. It's called life and, unencumbered by the needs of dependents (which according to many of my married friends includes spouses) we get to spread out into rare unlimited space and find our own answers in our own time.

This is Carolyn's New York and this is what Happy looks like.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Sunday Memories: Eating Out


There were only a couple of places outside of the apartment's kitchen that we ate in. Maybe a Chinese restaurant once or three times a year. Definitely Chock Full O'Nuts. The luncheonette on the corner of Delancey and Essex for pretzels and a glass of seltzer.

And Katz's. Our meals then were usually kept to hotdogs and tons of water from the water fountain, now a bona fide antique but then just a great water fountain. My dad, at frequent, irregular intervals for decades, would often sang out "Send a salami to your boy in the army". (And when I went to study in China and wrote him begging for deli, he actually did. The Chinese post office refused to let it in the country and it arrived back in New York six months later, completely inedible.)

Once I got my own job and my place and my own money, I expanded into the rest of the menu. Still, after tougher days taking care of Florence, a hotdog from Katz was the only thing that soothed.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

For Yetta and Beckie

On March 25, 1911, Yetta Rosenbaum, a 22 years old woman who lived at 308 East Houston Street, and 19 year old Beckie Neubauer, who lived at 19 Clinton Street, perished, along with 144 other factory workers, mostly young immigrant women, in the Triangle Shirt Factory Fire. CHALK IN MEMORY OF THE TRIANGLE SHIRTWAIST FACTORY FIRE commemorates each worker who died with a chalk memorial at their homes.

One sleepy, chilly early Sunday morning, Joke and I headed down to Houston and Clinton. We chalked, took pictures, spoke to passerbyers and remembered those young women who probably hoped for love and happiness as they struggled to make a living and a home in the New World.

19 Clinton Street, former home of Beckie, now a luxury condo building and yoga studio


Yetta's home on East Houston, now a Banco Popular


Yetta and Beckie did not die in vain.

From Women's History on About.com
Among the results of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire and the public horror at the disaster:

* municipal, state, and federal association reforms to ensure better working conditions and worker safety
* stronger unions in the garment industry, to bargain on safety and working conditions and to lobby for legislative reforms
* founding of the American Society of Safety Engineers in New York City
* the New York political machine, Tammany Hall, though with a reputation for corruption, embraced labor reforms
* several individuals came to public attention, including Rose Schneiderman, Clara Lemlich, and Francis Perkins (later the first woman appointed to a cabinet position)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

How High The Moon



At least for now, the buildings remain where they were first built, a hundred years or so ago. And the view from my window, at least for now, has also remain the same for a hundred years or so.

It is the sky that changes.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Sunday Memory: Florence

One day out of the blue, we learned something more about Florence.


Vicki, in 1956

"I was looking at something on yahoo. This made me curious about my old piano teacher, Florence Moed. So I searched Florence and got your blog! I was so happy that it was the same person who made such an indelible imprint on my early life.

Your mom was my first teacher, when I was 9, at the Williamsburg Settlement in Brooklyn. She had me going from rank beginning to my first Haydn little concerto, in one year. She took a keen interest in my development, so when she took the maternity leave, she insisted I must study with her old teacher, Miss Goren, at Henry Street, and also insisted I study theory there.

So I used to travel from my home in East Flatbush, to the Lower East Side in Manhattan, taking multiple mass transportation every Saturday. Because there was a several hour break between my theory and piano lessons, my routine was to grab a hamburger lunch at the small diner nearby, then go visit your mom. Getting to play duets with your mom (at my advanced age of 10 and 11) was a rare treat, and getting to play with baby Louise was the frosting on the cake! I can't give you much detail about my memories of [Louise's] babyhood, except that she was a sweet girl, and allowed your Mom and me to play our duets undisturbed.

Miss Goren was right on target. I don't remember any warmth or much personal connection, but I do remember a rigorous pursuit of perfection (unattainable to me). When I moved away from New York, I never again found the level of excellence and high standards in music education I had enjoyed at Henry Street. I knew that Miss Goren and other teachers usually taught at Juilliard, and that a poor child like me was extremely lucky to work with them, and pay what we could afford.

We tried to find another "Mrs. Moed" in California. The teacher I did find, Jean Kuhns, was also a lovely lady, who eventually sent me on to her aged teacher, Milan Blanchet (who had studied with BRAHMS as a child!).

My strongest memories were of how extraordinarily kind your mom was to take such interest in a beginning student and especially to invite me into her home every week to visit. Those visits meant more to me than the lessons, as did the years of faithful correspondence. I remember she would advise me about what to study among other things. When I got married, she gave me a subscription to The New Yorker, something she thought no intelligent individual should be without!

Although I have retained my love of music, I switched careers at age 30, ultimately finding more satisfaction in interior design. I love creating artful spaces for people to live in, and introducing them to art.

When I read your blog, it was so interesting to read about those other aspects of your mom. I'm glad your mom remained a fiercely independent woman. My goal was that her daughters should be sure to know about this sweet, generous side of her nature that I had the pleasure of knowing. Teachers may not make a lot of money, but they can make a lot of impact."

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Dogs Have Masters....

Cats have staff.



And Jupiter, approximately two years old this month, has me.

I did not quite understand this until two years into what promises to be one of my longer relationships, I noticed he had trained me to do the following:

* play with him when he wants to play
* not play with him when he doesn't want to play
* wake up when he wants me to wake up
* cuddle when he wants me to cuddle
* feed him what he likes
* not feed him what he doesn't like
* be polite about his displeasure at me preparing to leave the house
* share my popcorn with him
* throw the ball and then fetch it for him. Repeatedly.
* yes he will go on the kitchen counter and what do you mean not the stove
* move the bureau so he can crawl under it
* open the curtains
* open the window
* type with one hand because he needs me to scratch his ear with the other


As the Con Edison Meter Reader Lady said as she stepped over him to get to the meter, "He doesn't have to move. It's his house."

Two years ago, nobody warned me. Now it's too late.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Spring Is In The Air Or At Least In The Hallway



Knowing when Rags was headed out for a walk, Jupiter had trained me to open the door so he could gaze upon his unrequited love.

But today, the weather softer, the days longer and rumbles of urges to linger at trees, Rags, tail wagging cheerfully gave Jupiter the equivalent of a flirtatious shy hello - she followed him into the apartment.

And what did Jupiter do when faced with the possibility of an actual conversation with the dog he loved? What every wooing beau does. He ran in the other direction.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Sunday Memories: The Days of Frostbite

A two-month old Jupiter, then called Jimmy, when he was brought into the shelter with his five brothers and sisters. So sick, they were slotted to be put to death when a friend showed up 45 minutes before it was scheduled, brought them home and nursed them back to health.




Some folks say their pet saved their life. At least a guy on a PBS show said that.

I don't think Jupiter saved my life.




I think he saved me from frostbite seeping into my life and killing off bits and pieces. If it hadn't been for him, I would have lived just fine for years, never noticing that parts of my heart no longer felt.



The Book of Jupiter


Getting Adopted: July, 2009

Happiness and the Heart

Once I Was A Man

Adrian and Jupiter

Home Is The Bag

Even The Cat Was Found On the Street

Thank You East Village Corner

A Day In The Life

A View From A Kitchen

In the Still of the Night

Cat On A Hot Tin...

The Showdown

Still of Another Night

Catboy in Love


Old and New Sunrises

The Cat and the Couch

Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Possibilities Are Endless


Peter and Dexter were very nonchalant. After all it was just a couch to them. But for me the idea of once thought immovable history successfully dismantled and drained from my now life was impossible to grasp until after gleeful banging and ripping and pulling apart, the past disintegrated before my eyes and in its place was space where anything could happen.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Encore: GUEST ARTIST: DANA - Day of Miracles

The last in a series of encore posts and new work from Guest Artist Dana.

Thursday, December 9, 2010



It had been years because the menorah had been up in a closet and Dana couldn't reach it. This year Ping brought it down. The miracle of a helping hand.

Dana couldn't remember if there were candles but Ping found the two boxes Dana had tucked away years ago. Another miracle.

I was able, after weeks of work, to come visit. Miracle!

And then Dana sang the bruchas and for the first time in years, miracles of miracles I got to celebrate the Miracle of Lights.

Of course neither of us could remember the words to Rock Of Ages but the miracle of joy at sharing the holiday together unfolded instead.



Rock Of Ages

Rock of Ages let our song,
Praise thy saving power;
Thou amidst the raging foes,
Wast our shelt'rng tower.

Furious they assailed us,
But Thine arm availed us,
And Thy word broke their sword,
When our own strength failed us.
And Thy word broke their sword,
When our own strength failed us.

**

The Eight Days Of Miracles

Once the Maccabees had regained control they returned to the Temple in Jerusalem. By this time it had been spiritually defiled by being used for the worship of foreign gods and also by practices such as sacrificing swine. Jewish troops were determined to purify the Temple by burning ritual oil in the Temple’s menorah for eight days. But to their dismay, they discovered that there was only one day's worth of oil left in the Temple. They lit the menorah anyway and to their surprise the small amount of oil lasted the full eight days.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Sunday Memory Encore: Guest Artist Dana: Trudy and Dana

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Trudy and Dana, both 88 years old. Best friends. Trudy priority mails Dana string beans from her garden.


"We started a conversation when we were eleven and we haven't stopped yet."

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Encore: GUEST ARTIST: DANA - Time Flies....

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


It was supposed to be a brief meal.

Four hours later, I was still laughing too hard to write down everything Dana said.

But she had been warned. When one encounters a better writer than oneself one can only rip off said writer in self defense.

On certain attempts of style:

"He combs his hair with a washcloth."

On the insults of aging and limited mobility:

"I could fool anything but a flight of stairs."

On the fact her doctor is moving her office right across the street from her apartment:

"I won't be late if there's no red light."

And last, but not least, on our favorite actor:

"He's a walking sex experience."

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

GUEST ARTIST: DANA - Portrait of Diana

A photo taken of Dana as she read to me this new piece.



Diana was the glamorous girl of our set – slim, elegantly dressed in classically tailored clothes made for city doings. Her soft grey hair was tucked into a black beret and her boots were impeccably polished. Her regal posture was the result of strengthening her back for “la danse”. Ballet was her life until she retired, although she never offered personal details of her own story.

She mainly talked about her dance career and the beauty of attempting to reach perfection. She encouraged the rest of us old gals to constantly exercise in order to maintain our balance and lose weight. As we struggled through our 70’s and 80’s with our canes and walkers, she was a real contrast to us all as well as to herself. Usually dressing in black turtleneck sweaters or white ones, her head looked misplaced. Incorrectly sitting atop a youthful frame, her head seemed to belong to a much older woman. She decided to volunteer at Lincoln Center to accommodate bewildered patrons. Eventually she became eligible herself for unsold seats to musical or dance performances.

Her chief defect was her poor neglected teeth; she had long since lived on a pitiable income requiring her to survive on Social Security checks. Her diet consisted of canned soups and snacks. Like many living so fugally, her beloved orange tabby cat Rothbart, named after the evil conjurer in “Swan Lake”, ate much better. To quell her appetite, Diana ate hard candy. From time to time, each of us would attempt to invite her out to lunch. We usually met for a monthly Chinese lunch to celebrate our various birthdays. When Diana decided to join us, she would order sparingly.

A few months ago, at four in the morning, Dian felt the symptoms of heart attack. She managed to open the front door and lie down in the hallway. Then she rolled over and over until she reached the door of a familiar neighbor who awakened and drove her to Beth Israel Hospital’s Emergency Room. We all began calling the hospital as well as at home trying to find Diana. Jean of our group found her in her hospital room. Diana asked her visit again soon and to bring pen and paper and a small bottle of Chanel #5. Diana also commented on how delightful it was to get three trays of food daily delivered to her beside. She did miss her beloved Rothbart, now housed with her neighbor.

Once again, we lost touch with Diana. Then word came from a co-worker at Lincoln Center who had tried to locate her. “Diana is no more. Probably a follow-up heart attack.” We were all grief-stricken. And we all felt guilt pangs that we had let her languish in the hospital and then didn’t follow up on where she might have gone afterwards. Hospitals in New York City close a case record when the patient is discharged. Germany, on the other hand, keeps a police registry of every citizen’s change of address.

Several friends and I met a month ago to have an impromptu memorial. We talked about our lovely colleague whose passing was unexpected and, of course, foretold our own.

It was almost Christmas when Jean called me to say she had just opened her mailbox and jumped when she saw a letter from Diana. Diana had been in a rehab facility for weeks and had made enough progress to be sent home, blessed home. The mild heart attack healed well but she also had needed surgery to remove a defective toe. In rehab, she had to learn how to use a walker and a cane.

We had been so shaken by the awful news of Diana’s death that we were scarcely able to believe she had returned to our lives again. We almost resented being emotionally rocked for no reason, but decided to marvel at the turn of events and never mention it to Diana. Diana, having located her address book, felt a surge of longing to join her old friends again. She never realized that she had emerged from the chrysalis of an iconic departed ballerina into a newly reborn old woman, just like us.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Sunday Memory: GUEST ARTIST DANA - The Scent of Sandalwood

New work from Dana!



Whenever I travel to Europe, I feel I am walking in the footsteps of former inhabitants who lived in ancient towns before they became cities. The old ghettos, for example, are steeped in history and stimulate my imagination. I seem to be searching for my previous life in another century, a kind of deja vue moment. When George and I arrived in Seville, Spain, I found it.

We were directed to an old quarter, which formerly housed the ghetto where all of Seville’s Jews were once confined. Street names were ghetto names. But the ghetto itself had vanished. All that remains is a Kasbah-like warren of little winding streets and cul-de-sacs twisting and turning and literally swallowing us up in its labyrinth. As night fell we began to feel ill at ease. There were fewer and finally no one on the dimly lighted streets. I may have recognized where I once had lived in another time, but now felt trapped in a time warp. I couldn’t recall the area outside of the ghetto, which was dangerous. After curfew, one risked arrest.

We walked by an open patio that seemed to beckon us in. Through the entrance gate sat a large brightly illuminated sofa, empty but waiting. For us? We whispered to each other “Don’t go in there. “ Where was its light coming from? Was this some kind of entrapment?

We lingered on the sidewalk wondering at the sofa’s elegant invitation. I thought we should continue up the street. George noticed the seductive aroma of sandalwood, and refused to move.

We bickered for a few moments until we heard the rustling of a taffeta skirt. Upon turning our attention back to the sofa we were surprised to see a Matisse-like odalisque wearing that taffeta skirt. Aside from multi-colored glass necklaces she was utterly bare on top. Her presence explained the purposed of the sofa.

I knew from George’s glistening eyes what he was thinking. And it was obvious what he was feeling.

So, what the hell.

Yes, I walked on and somehow found an exit in the general direction of our hotel. Eventually, George did the same.

Back home, whenever I saw that glisten in George’s eyes, I'd put on my false eyelashes and a splash of sandalwood.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Encore: GUEST ARTIST: DANA - On Parenting (Or How I Survived Motherhood)

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


"I sat in the playpen as they wrecked the house."

Dana, with her grandson, her great-grandson and her son posing for a picture being taken by her other son.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Encore: GUEST ARTIST: DANA - The Pot Of Gold

Another gem from Dana.


Marian and I had high expectations. We were about to go to see a one-woman theatre piece calls “the Amish Project”. It referred to the tragic murder of thirteen school kids whose Amish classroom was invaded by an armed lunatic.

At first I refused to join Marian in reliving such a terror. But word came from several critics of its unique value. Travel plans were finalized, and I was nearly dressed when Marian called at the last moment to tell me that there was a long, steep flight of steps from the street entrance up to the theater.

I am too disabled to manage those damn steps.

Marian decided to go alone. This was another time I had been rebuffed by architecture. Suddenly my missed evening struck me harder than the play’s tragic subject. I moped regretfully the remainder of the afternoon.

Stepping outside on my terrace to relieve the blues, I was thrilled to see a dazzling rainbow its enormous arc embracing the sky from mid-Manhattan to north Brooklyn, I began shouting to the strollers eleven stories below to “look up, look up, a rainbow!” But no one heard me. I was the sole beneficiary of the splendor. I was Finian himself.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Sunday Memory Encore: Two! Two! Two Memories In One!

Sunday, March 7, 2010


When terribly young there was Dana as a beacon.

And when life required strength there was Veselka's Ukrainian Borscht.

How lucky I am that these days I have both.


***

Dana's profile and other short pieces are:

Tuesday, March 24, 2009
"If I Bring Forth What Is Inside Me, What I Bring Forth Will Save Me"

Tuesday, May 19, 2009
"One Day I Wrote A Sentence"

Thursday, June 25, 2009
GUEST ARTIST: DANA - The Sad Little Crone

THURSDAY, AUGUST 13, 2009
GUEST ARTIST: DANA - Wisdom of the Ages

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Encore: GUEST ARTIST: DANA - "One Day I Wrote A Sentence"

Tuesday, May 19, 2009


How Dana, Guest Writer, started writing.

Ghost Longing (excerpt)

“His homecoming every night was thrill enough for me because his physical presence was sexually provocative. I loved the intimate challenge of living with a stranger. Present, but not completely knowable.”

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Encore: GUEST ARTIST: DANA - The Sad Little Crone

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Another one of Dana's short New York stories.


I seem to have trouble visualizing accurately how my face betrays my age. Especially when I hit a patch of exhaustion and my color drains completely. On my birthday I went to Trinity Church to hear a concert by a group called Alhambra. They specialize in Sephardic songs accompanied by very exotic instruments. Sensuous and rhythmic 14th and 15th century melodies. When they ended, I was caught in their spell. But hunger and fatigue had to be remedied. I crossed the street to a dingy pizza joint and ordered a large orange juice. Then I plopped down at a corner table to simply rest. I closed my eyes for a moment and awoke suddenly when a young Asian woman poked her nose in my face and asked tenderly “Are you all right?” followed by, “May I buy you some lunch?”

My first thought was “I really must buy a new winter coat. My God, I must look dowdy."

“No lunch, please.” I told her I was enjoying my birthday but just needed a little rest. Then I stood up and left the place. She followed me asking where I lived and how I was planning to travel home. I kept reassuring her that I would take the subway, as usual. She offered to escort me down the steps. I refused her kind help Then she put something in my right hand and ran into the crowd. I opened my hand to find a neatly folded $5 bill. I was truly shocked but also touched and somewhat ashamed at her judgment of me. Her compassion brought tears to my eyes. So that’s how I appear to her!

When I got home I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. There she was – the dear little old lady or perhaps the sad little crone needing a good meal. I swore I’d save that $5 bill forever. But I broke my vow 4 days later.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Sunday Memory Encore: "If I Bring Forth What Is Inside Me, What I Bring Forth Will Save Me"

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


This is Dana.

Her husband, before he was smart enough to marry her, had, as a teenager, a crush on Florence. When they all grew up, Dana and Florence and their husbands and children lived across the hall from one another on Lewis Street.

I knew Dana was the most beautiful woman I knew. And I knew this before I knew how to tie my shoe. I also knew she knew something about the world that would be essential to my survival. Perhaps it was the beautiful stones from Brazil she gave me after her trip there with her husband to help establish socialist co-op housing. Or maybe it was the tiny little Bolivian dolls given after another trip to continue developing affordable housing in South America. Or maybe it was the story book with real art as illustrations that told me there were more worlds beyond the wall of sound I heard every day from Florence's Steinway.

Whatever it was, what beamed from her heart and soul was a living example of utter enjoyment of every second of every moment to love, eat, laugh, talk, touch, live.

Today, at least 45 years after learning to tie my shoe, Dana is still the most beautiful woman I know. Or at least Number One of a very short list. And today she brought forth a story she had poured into devastating poetry. She said that when she wrote that story it saved her life. Once again, so many decades later, I learned of a world beyond the horizon of my own fear, my own pain, my own disbelief.

*The fortune cookie fortune Dana reads every morning as she fixes her hazelnut coffee.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

A Birthday Celebration of the Writer Dana



Dana celebrated a birthday the other day. She was NOT 89 years old, she stated firmly. That year had just finished. On this auspicious day, she was beginning her 90th year.

Encore posts of Dana's sharp and dazzling short stories as well as new works will be presented on HER NEW YORK over the next couple of weeks.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Guest Artist: It Was Doug's New York



Doug is from Long Island. That and his niceness can't be helped.

During tax time he travels back to Long Island to help out at his brother's accounting office, staffed almost entirely by women. On Saturday, they all bring their children. And words take on wonderful new meanings.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Sunday Soon-To-Be-A-Memory: The History of a Couch


It had been purchased by Susie’s then-girlfriend in an effort to keep two people in one spot.

Didn't work.

Susie’s incoming new wife - determined to clear their new home of old memories - sawed it in half so it could fit in the tiny elevator of their 5th Street apartment and get it the hell out of their new life together. The newly married couple walked both pieces up to my apartment eight blocks away and stuffed it into my tiny elevator.

Having never had a real couch before, I was thrilled and watched in awe as the new wife power-tooled the two pieces back to their former glory.

In the ensuing decade and then some, sex and love and happily-ever-after were attempted on its cushions.  Art was marveled at from its comfort, stories were written and, when sick, it was the best place to curl up and become a little girl again.

Until, without enough warning, life flooded with unending loss.  That couch became a refuge to hide in, often with take-out and TV to numb and soothe everything from too much of too much.

In the midst of all this, Jupiter the kitten unexpectedly arrived.

Those first few weeks, it was the perfect place for him to hide under when – little and frightened – he waited for me, the mommy-can-opener, to return back from some unnecessary errand and love and feed him.  Not necessarily in that order. 

However, as several house guests observed, when I wasn’t home, he retreated back under and waited. 

Months passed.  Loss didn’t bang around my head so much.  Jupiter got bigger and less frightened and soon, that couch became the place for me to hang out on and for him to hide his favorite toys under, including my favorite pen, my reading glasses, hair bands for the gym, the floss, plastic rings from bottles, all the thousands of jiggling bell balls I kept buying him, the catnip mouse, the catnip bird, the catnip sausage...

And before we knew it, enough time had passed that I didn’t need to curl up with take-out, and Jupiter was so big he couldn’t even fit a paw beneath the broken frame.  Instead, the beat-up couch became his warm corner to catch up on his beauty sleep as I did paperwork for a better future.

One day, the couch just became too broken for both of us – an aging tushy and a big-bone cat.  Hammers and crowbars dismantled it into small pieces and strong hands stuffed them into our tiny elevator. Me and Jupiter watched decades of history no longer welcomed and no longer needed depart to the basement garbage room.  

A new couch was coming soon, second-hand like the first, but bought from strangers, more functional, a bit smaller, not so broken.  I swept and mopped the dusty empty space, making it ready for that new couch.  And as I did, I also made it ready for new memories and a new history – one that me and Jupiter would both get to choose.



Thursday, February 3, 2011

University Of The Streets: Millenium Style



It used to be you learned from running around the city and taking a good look at it. Florence would whip on her glasses and stare if there was something she wanted to know.

Then the the city got nice and the streets got safe. There was nothing to learn on them except how to zip around a gaggle of tourists clogging the sidewalks or the new residents who, like the tourists, clogged the streets but at least shared with the world interesting cell phone conversation.

So imagine the delight and the wonderment when the best scientist in the city, and thus the world, gave a small group of important looking people a 101 overview of astronomy, a course I had failed at least twice at City College. He did this while interweaving the history of pollution into the stars and telling us how Grand Central Terminal wasn't a station but a terminal.

I don't care if I don't understand what the Earth Wobble is. I'm just thrilled that, like Florence, I stared in delight and without an invitation stood close to learning something new on the streets.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Between a Rock and a Hard Place There Is...


In these recent years, there had been times even an old beloved song cut too close and deep to what was left of me. Yet quiet became unbearable. That El wrote her music as ferociously as I wrote story - a sword cutting through personal silence - brought me respite from this high speed mess called life, and led me out of my own Egypt and into a promised land of new possibilities and new stories.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Sunday Memories Encore: Neither Rain, Nor Sleet, Nor Gloom of Night...Until Suddenly...

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 2010


None of us really understood that things were changing for Florence.

She seemed as she always had been. Teaching cooking walking arguing fuming eating investigating practicing devouring life intrepidely sallying forth into the world as the force of nature that she was

The rare cracks were easy to ignore, more often than not camaflouged in the heart and soul of her New York.

This was the first crack I suddenly remembered ignoring.

A brief moment after a snowstorm on the corner of 6th street and Avenue A. Between her and the curb a pile of snow.

Suddenly she couldn't traverse it. Suddenly she didn't know what to do. Suddenly she was old.

Then suddenly some young men came up to her, picked her up, carried her over the mound and gently placed her on solid sidewalk before vanishing into the crowd.

She laughed and laughed and laughed about it because the sudden ride erased the sudden reality she could not longer climb her own mountains.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Birth



I wondered where she was at this age. My sister, doing the math, figured out Florence had just begun the life she had always wanted to live - on her own, practicing her art and dancing with girls.

There was nothing left to do but thank Florence for her labor 52 years ago, give gratitude for the day, and in the evening enjoy the company of friends and family who had witness my own journey to living as I had always wanted to.

Photo by E. Smith

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Happy Meal



It had been a long while since this dinner had been attempted. More than time had to pass. The space for joy had to be carved out again and serenity and love had to be invited back in.

Along with the chicken, wine and cupcakes, a friend's cheese rice casserole was a new addition, perfect to herald in this next new year which, as the night flew by, was punctuated by a puzzled cat and talk around the table of Christianity in teen literature, the elections in Sudan, the eccentricities of certain writers, and the bravery of family who, during Jim Crow days, sat at Woolworth lunch counters to claim the right to eat at a table of their choosing.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Sunday Memories: Tranformation



This is a room at the 14th Street Emanuel Y. Once it was the room we teenagers ruled just as the Vietnam War was ending and we were singing protest songs while shooting pool. The table was tilted and I ruled my advantage while eying the boy I liked.

Now on Friday nights, forty years later, a warm and intimate congregation does Shabbat services where, through the God of their understanding they call forth the spirits of justice.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

The Little Men's Store on 14th Street That Could



It's the size of one of the bathrooms at the huge chains further west. But nobody carries what this store carries. Suave shirts, sharp pants, jewel colored sweaters and elegant shoes for clubs not listed in Time Out or websites catering to the hunt of hidden New York.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Light In The Darkness On A Federal Holiday

Chamber Street, New York City at 10:30 p.m.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Sunday Memories: More Traces of Love

Her chair for watching Her New York.


Thursday, January 13, 2011

Mi Butsadan Es Su Butsadan



It means the home of the Buddha.

And where else do any of us live but in a butsadan, for we are all a Buddha in our own way and right.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Aftermath of Revolution



Florence had once said of working one's art, "You have to train for that."

So today my comrade and my friend, Josslyn and I, as we have every year for 15 years, sat down to prepare another year of daily training.

One pot of espresso, one pot of drip coffee, two pots of tea, a huge salad, two chicken breasts, four kinds of dressing, one box of cookies, one orange, a bag of barbecue soy chips, and many glasses of water later, we chose new language never before used to describe our journey ahead.

We are, not will be.

We do now, not someday.

We demonstrate "I am" right here.

The revolution will not be televised. It happens with each breath we take.

***
The Disciples of Soul

The First Step

Metamorphosis


Sunday, January 9, 2011

Sunday Memories: Traces of Love

The Delegate's counter until recently.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

It Was Her New York: The Angel of 14th Street

This is the Angel of 14th Street.



Her family came from Sicily to the East Village a long time ago. This was before it was the East Village.


Then it was just 14th Street or 12th Street or Avenue A. Then it was just the new home. But when they got finished with it, it was a neighborhood.

This is in the back of the building on 12th Street. This is her great great-grandmother holding her grand-uncle.


The great-grandfather owned the butcher shop on 11th and A. The great-grandmother worked in a dress factory on the lower east side. His money went to support the family. Her money went to savings. Soon they had enough to buy the butcher shop. And then after that, they bought 173 Avenue A (now a hip restaurant), moved the butcher shop there, expanded it into a little grocery store and opened a pizzeria next door. Everyone in the family worked in those and lived upstairs on the first floor.

Her uncle behind the counter at the butcher-grocery shop.


When he was five, the Angel's dad was put in the window of the pizzeria to toss the dough. Everybody knew everybody.

Her grandfather and her dad in front of the Automat when it was still on 14th Street.


Another great-grandfather, the cobbler on 13th Street also owned his own building. He went to all the other building owners and said "We need a church for our Sicilian order."


You know that church on Avenue A and 12th Street? Mary Help of Christians. That was the doings of the great-grandfathers of the Angel of 14th Street. Every uncle, aunt, parents, kids got baptized, married, everything there. Here her grandmother and grandfather are getting married.

But things change and the A&P came in and small grocery stores stores went out. The rents at 173 Avenue A didn't cover the expenses and soon the family sold, moved, disbursed. The Angel's family moved up and out. To Stuyvesant Town. She lives there still.

I asked, one New Yorker to another, what's one thing in this apartment you have lived in almost as long as I have lived in mine, that to you is New York?

"The step stool," and she pulled it out to show the life it had lived along side of her.

And then I asked, one New Yorker to another, where she'd go if she could go anywhere. "Get me off 14th Street! Life has got to be bigger than 14th Street."

And then we laughed because we knew we lived where the rest of the world wished it did.