Thursday, April 21, 2011

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Going to Brooklyn To Leave Egypt

There is a reason it took the Hebrews forty years to make their way across the desert and it wasn't because Moses refused to ask for directions. It is said God wanted the Hebrews to birth a generation that was born, not into a slave mentality, but into freedom.



Leaving the Egypt of a dangerous neighborhood called my mind is a daily event that often unfolds in solitude and privacy. How wonderful was it, then, to sit down at a friend's table on this auspicious night, along with millions of others around the world, to begin an exodus into a better life and more loving heart.

We were many things at many moments - family, friend, Brooklyn Italian Roman Catholic, neighbor, husband, Jesuit, comrade, mother, brother, sister-in-law, guest, teacher, student, Gay, straight, wandering Jew... mishpocheh.



This evening's journey was the same taken those thousands of years ago and called us to walk its walk. So when a request for the youngest to ask the Four Questions it was someone about to turn 50 who stepped forward.


As in any journey, dishes were filled...



... hands flew with ideas and thoughts...



...until Exodus was done, dessert was served...



...and more talk filled the table, including a Robert Frost poem sung to the tune of 'Hernando's Hideaway' from Pajama Game



It was during this particular exodus and in the midst of my own private and solitary questions that a line misread in Psalm 118 reminded me that as I shed my slave mentality, my journey would bring me to freedom and a new promise land.



And so I walk, calling art to become my deliverance.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Sunday Memories: Lessons Learned At My Mother's Knee

"Show me a messy house and I'll show you a woman of character." - Florence










What my home looked like after finally completing a new book.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Spring Has Sprung Across America!

In Illinois, they know it's Spring when the baby goats arrive and bounce and jump...



... while looking adorable for the camera. AWWWWW.. look at that adorable little baby goat!



In California, they know it's Spring when the almost eighty year old tortoise emerges, after his winter hibernation, from his garage box ...



...to chomp on his lettuce while the new puppy wonders if that's a ball or a snack. Inter-species love!



And here in New York, we know it's Spring when those flowers on the trees obscure the view of the long line down the block of all the kids who spent the entire night out on the sidewalk screaming wooo wooo and singing that fucking Queen song over and over and over again while waiting on line for the premiere of the new DR. WHO.




**

With thanks to J.L. Wong for the Illinois and California.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

In Defiance Of Being Silenced

If any of us had listened to any of you...

















...what would you listen to when your heart got broken and you needed a song that told its story?

***

With thanks to Beat Kaestli and his ensemble for allowing me to document their recording session at Lofish Studios.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Sunday Memories: An Encore In Memory of Cornell and the Flower Stall

Cornell Edwards, proprietor of the Flower Stall and a neighbor to us all in the East Village just passed away.

Originally posted Sunday, May 17, 2009


I remember the day because it involved a car.

Maybe I was 10 or 11. My father had not been transferred out to Long Island yet so we had no car. I don't think he even knew how to drive until the transfer. And the only person I knew who did own a car was the uncle of a little boy I played with. That uncle's car had windows that rolled up and down on their own. The uncle's hands rolled up and down on their own as well. Since he hadn't been around the neighborhood in years there were no cars to speak of in my every day life.

Until that Mother's Day.

Paula's father had a car. I am not sure how we all knew where to meet or who was going (since using the telephone was expensive and discouraged in my house) but somehow I weedled my way into the crowded back seat with the girls from the better co-ops by the river so that we could all travel uptown to buy our mothers a mother's day present. A plant.

Prior to this particular Mother's Day, presents consisted of a bottle of perfume that had a tiger skin covered cap and a pair of cooking tongs (used for the next 40 years - don't know about the perfume). After this particular Mother's Day, presents consisted of Mom's request we stop calling her Mom and start calling her Florence.

But on this Mother's Day 'Mom' and presents were still allowed and to have a rare car ride included in the mix was heavenly.

It was cloudy and even a bit cold. The streets were empty and this little store was the only thing open on the block. The selection was dazzling. But to this day I have no memory if I bought anything or not, knowing Florence's dread of any living being that might require her attention. I also have no idea how I had any money, it being highly unlikely my father would have given me any. A vague shimmer of a little cactus for a $1 sometimes swims in my eyes. Regardless, those lost details seemed so unimportant compared to the adventure itself.

And then as all things do, things changed. Mom became Florence, home became other places and plants became exotic and exciting pets that didn't need to be fed every day. I'm not exactly sure when this happened, but one day, a few decades in to living where I now live, I realized the beautiful little plant store around the corner was the very spot of that rare day.


THE FLOWER STALL

143 East 13th Street
NYC

Cornell Edwards, Proprietor


http://citysnapshots.wordpress.com/2008/08/29/placeshot-the-flower-stall/


RIP

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

In Memory of Cindy: The Land Of The Quartchyard

One year in the 1980s a newspaper representing the invisible New York called for submissions to a contest of autobiographies about living in New York. I wrote about the land of the quartchyard (which is how we said courtyard which is where we grew up).

Cindy was part of the story. On my way to deliver the story to the office - this was before email was invented - I ran into Cindy on the street. We walked the envelope together to the offices of the newspaper. On the way, we met one of my "uptown" (ie East Village) friends. I never was more proud as when I introduced Cindy to my friend.

I didn't win. They were wrong. The piece was recently accepted into an anthology about the Lower East Side. And tonight I got the news that Cindy just died. Days before her 52nd birthday.



The Land of the Quartchyard
(1980s. revised 2006)

I grew up in the good part of a bad neighborhood. I thought we were rich. And, compared to others, we probably were. Rich meant a home that was warm, leak free, more than two rooms, in an apartment building with reasonably clean halls, and an elevator that ran almost all the time. Amalgamated Dwellings. My mother still lives there.

It was called the Courtyard but we pronounced it Quartchyard. I didn’t know I said it like that until my cousins from Philadelphia told me I did. I thought I was talking English like the rest of the world.

Amalgamated was built by garment union people. It was the first North American housing cooperative built in a European courtyard style. A graduate student of architecture told me that in one of those “I-know-NY-I’ve-lived-here-ten minutes” tone of voice. He did take a break from his throne when I told him I had grown up in that there North American European courtyard. The conversation ended when he started talking to me like I was a pushy Jewish woman looking for a husband because that’s what he knew from TV. Go figure these tourists.

Amalgamated may have been the first whatever in north wherever but for us it was nothing but housing we could own at money we could afford. It was working people. It was socialism in brick. It was a mansion compared to the slums in the neighborhood. Mrs. F. on the 6th floor said she remembered watching Amalgamated be built and the neighborhood just abuzz with talk because there was going to be INDOOR PLUMBING and ELEVATORS like “Park Avenue going up in the middle of the Lower East Side.” She told me she was practically fainting when she moved in later.

Gary from the D building grew up in the tougher city projects on the other side of the Williamsburg Bridge. He used to come to the archway of the courtyard and think, “This must be the Garden of Eden.” He really believed it was. When his family moved in, his mother would get him to behave by threatening to tell the management what a bad boy he was and how, if he didn’t straighten up and fly right, they’d have to move back to the city projects. Terrified the shit out of him.

There was a fountain in the middle of the courtyard. There were big gold fish there for a few years, but maybe they got stolen or the alley cats ate them. For many years there were many cats. They all had names. Skinny, Mikey (she had one eye and one kitten every year), Friendly, Kushka (which means cat in Russian). Then the Amalgamated security guard, Mr. H the Cop. who lived in the G building tried to get rid of them. All we got in return was no cats and more mice. He was a survivor, but of what no one told us kids. Marcy said there was a tattoo. I never saw it.

All the old ladies would sit in lawn chairs all around the courtyard. They’d talk about us in Yiddish. I counted on Marcy and Cindy to tell me what they were saying. After a while I just assumed they were saying bad things about me and my family. My parents’ Reform Judaism practically made us Catholics in their eyes. I didn’t wear skirts and went to music school on Shabbos. I also went to the public school on Broome Street. I socialized with goyim. I didn’t observe the high holy days for real. But the old ladies also thought it was nice my mother played such a beautiful piano and gave free lessons to some of the kids in the neighborhood. Now, most of them are dead and the few that are still alive all got memos from the new management. No sitting outside in their lawn chairs. Makes it look tacky and tacky isn’t good when you are trying to sell homes at market rate. The old ladies do it anyways. “Fuck ‘em,” one said. “We were here first.” She said it in Yiddish.

The courtyard had a lot of grass. The only time we got to go on the grass was when it snowed. The rest of the year we walked around it. It used to snow a lot in New York. Don’t get me started on how the kids today runaround like its their personal park. It’s so unfair.

My father would point to the center of the playground between East Broadway and Henry Street and say, “There were tenements there. My family lived there.” All I saw was basketball hoops and empty space. Then he’d point to the corner of Columbia and Grand and say, “That used to be the sweatshop that me and your uncle George worked, weaving baskets. The inspectors would come and we’d hide in the back because we were underage.” But I only saw a solid brick apartment building and bushes and trees. I tried imagining my dad and Uncle George hiding in the bushes. It’s not even called Columbia Street anymore.

My mother tells me a story. She lived in a tenement on Clinton and Division Street. It’s no longer there. There’s a shopping center there now. She lived on the second floor. A print shop was on the first floor and in the basement was the bialy bakery. The oven was built right into the wall. In the middle of the night the deliveryman would call down to the baker, “Hey Seymour.” In those days they were called kuchen, not bialies.

Years later, all the new apartment buildings took the place of tenements and Division Street never left Chinatown. The bialy bakery moved into fancy new digs on Grand and Essex as part of the modern shopping center. A toy store, supermarket, pharmacy the movie house, fabric store. All new.

And years after that, my mother walked into the not-so-new-anymore bialy store and asked, “Is there a Seymour here?” He recognized her. She, over 60 and he remembered the young girl who lived on the second floor of a tenement that doesn’t exist anymore. He asked if she lived in Greenwich Village. That’s because she doesn’t look like an old Jewish lady. She looks like teenager. That’s because she is.

He just died recently. Only my mother remembers the voice in the night calling him Hey Seymour. What’s left?

The south side of Delancey was filled with stores and people and music and Dave’s beauty parlor where my whole family got our hair cut. I stole my first thing from the newsstand between Clinton and Suffolk, a penny stick of gum. But my mother caught me and made me not only return it, but apologize to the man behind the counter. They razed everything in the 1960’s. There’s still nothing there. For the last forty years every Wednesday afternoon Dave goes around and cuts and styles people’s hair in their apartments.

The best meatball hero sandwich I ever had was on Grand between Pitt and Ridge, but now there are more apartment buildings, Ridge doesn’t live there anymore and I have to look at a map to remember. How many people still say Willet Street?

The toy store is now a donut factory and the donuts cost $2.50. Each. The movie house is a clinic. The grumpy old man who sold fruit by the bus stop is still there but nobody knows why. The bodega has been gutted to become another outpost of the hippest pizza parlor from the east village and the streets are filled with the kind of people growing up we never saw anywhere except on TV shows like Dynasty and the Brady Bunch and maybe Dick Van Dyke. And now Amalgamated is considered luxury housing with apartments going for almost One Million Dollars. If my parents were starting life over again, we couldn’t afforded to live there.

When we were eleven or maybe twelve, I snuck cigarettes with Cindy on the roof of our building, her cigarettes; I was just along for the ride. But it was me who got in trouble; me labeled a rough girl, a no-goodnik, a bad influence. That’s because I can’t read Hebrew and I didn’t go to Yeshiva.

But when I see Cindy today, both of us trying not to indulge anymore in bad habits, we hug hello not just because we still love each other very much, but because we understand what it means to work and live outside the courtyard. And my accent, my original language from a neighborhood of memory, my mother tongue of an illiterate Jews comes to mouth and for a moment I am home, in a home I thought was rich and compared to others probably still is.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Sunday Memories: Let There Be Light


When morning chased the bums back into cardboard bedrooms propped against alleyways and chain link fences or for the richer ones, the many dark fleabag hotels that lined the Bowery, the light from these stores took their place and filled our fantasies with glamor only found in fairy tales and movies.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

No, We're Actually Pretty Effing Happy About It


This is Carolyn. Even though she was forced to grow up in Long Island, she started life in Queens. She's almost 50. She's never been married. She's never had kids.

She's taking a photography class at a very prestigious photography place. Her project? Portraits of other women of age who have never married and never had kids.

Rather than heed some of the suggestions made by some her classmates to take pictures of us looking all sad as we walked by baby stores, Carolyn decided to take pictures of how and what and who we really are.

Each one of us is at our own crossroad, reinventing our lives, rediscovering our talents, re-questioning our priorities. It's called life and, unencumbered by the needs of dependents (which according to many of my married friends includes spouses) we get to spread out into rare unlimited space and find our own answers in our own time.

This is Carolyn's New York and this is what Happy looks like.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Sunday Memories: Eating Out


There were only a couple of places outside of the apartment's kitchen that we ate in. Maybe a Chinese restaurant once or three times a year. Definitely Chock Full O'Nuts. The luncheonette on the corner of Delancey and Essex for pretzels and a glass of seltzer.

And Katz's. Our meals then were usually kept to hotdogs and tons of water from the water fountain, now a bona fide antique but then just a great water fountain. My dad, at frequent, irregular intervals for decades, would often sang out "Send a salami to your boy in the army". (And when I went to study in China and wrote him begging for deli, he actually did. The Chinese post office refused to let it in the country and it arrived back in New York six months later, completely inedible.)

Once I got my own job and my place and my own money, I expanded into the rest of the menu. Still, after tougher days taking care of Florence, a hotdog from Katz was the only thing that soothed.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

For Yetta and Beckie

On March 25, 1911, Yetta Rosenbaum, a 22 years old woman who lived at 308 East Houston Street, and 19 year old Beckie Neubauer, who lived at 19 Clinton Street, perished, along with 144 other factory workers, mostly young immigrant women, in the Triangle Shirt Factory Fire. CHALK IN MEMORY OF THE TRIANGLE SHIRTWAIST FACTORY FIRE commemorates each worker who died with a chalk memorial at their homes.

One sleepy, chilly early Sunday morning, Joke and I headed down to Houston and Clinton. We chalked, took pictures, spoke to passerbyers and remembered those young women who probably hoped for love and happiness as they struggled to make a living and a home in the New World.

19 Clinton Street, former home of Beckie, now a luxury condo building and yoga studio


Yetta's home on East Houston, now a Banco Popular


Yetta and Beckie did not die in vain.

From Women's History on About.com
Among the results of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire and the public horror at the disaster:

* municipal, state, and federal association reforms to ensure better working conditions and worker safety
* stronger unions in the garment industry, to bargain on safety and working conditions and to lobby for legislative reforms
* founding of the American Society of Safety Engineers in New York City
* the New York political machine, Tammany Hall, though with a reputation for corruption, embraced labor reforms
* several individuals came to public attention, including Rose Schneiderman, Clara Lemlich, and Francis Perkins (later the first woman appointed to a cabinet position)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

How High The Moon



At least for now, the buildings remain where they were first built, a hundred years or so ago. And the view from my window, at least for now, has also remain the same for a hundred years or so.

It is the sky that changes.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Sunday Memory: Florence

One day out of the blue, we learned something more about Florence.


Vicki, in 1956

"I was looking at something on yahoo. This made me curious about my old piano teacher, Florence Moed. So I searched Florence and got your blog! I was so happy that it was the same person who made such an indelible imprint on my early life.

Your mom was my first teacher, when I was 9, at the Williamsburg Settlement in Brooklyn. She had me going from rank beginning to my first Haydn little concerto, in one year. She took a keen interest in my development, so when she took the maternity leave, she insisted I must study with her old teacher, Miss Goren, at Henry Street, and also insisted I study theory there.

So I used to travel from my home in East Flatbush, to the Lower East Side in Manhattan, taking multiple mass transportation every Saturday. Because there was a several hour break between my theory and piano lessons, my routine was to grab a hamburger lunch at the small diner nearby, then go visit your mom. Getting to play duets with your mom (at my advanced age of 10 and 11) was a rare treat, and getting to play with baby Louise was the frosting on the cake! I can't give you much detail about my memories of [Louise's] babyhood, except that she was a sweet girl, and allowed your Mom and me to play our duets undisturbed.

Miss Goren was right on target. I don't remember any warmth or much personal connection, but I do remember a rigorous pursuit of perfection (unattainable to me). When I moved away from New York, I never again found the level of excellence and high standards in music education I had enjoyed at Henry Street. I knew that Miss Goren and other teachers usually taught at Juilliard, and that a poor child like me was extremely lucky to work with them, and pay what we could afford.

We tried to find another "Mrs. Moed" in California. The teacher I did find, Jean Kuhns, was also a lovely lady, who eventually sent me on to her aged teacher, Milan Blanchet (who had studied with BRAHMS as a child!).

My strongest memories were of how extraordinarily kind your mom was to take such interest in a beginning student and especially to invite me into her home every week to visit. Those visits meant more to me than the lessons, as did the years of faithful correspondence. I remember she would advise me about what to study among other things. When I got married, she gave me a subscription to The New Yorker, something she thought no intelligent individual should be without!

Although I have retained my love of music, I switched careers at age 30, ultimately finding more satisfaction in interior design. I love creating artful spaces for people to live in, and introducing them to art.

When I read your blog, it was so interesting to read about those other aspects of your mom. I'm glad your mom remained a fiercely independent woman. My goal was that her daughters should be sure to know about this sweet, generous side of her nature that I had the pleasure of knowing. Teachers may not make a lot of money, but they can make a lot of impact."

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Dogs Have Masters....

Cats have staff.



And Jupiter, approximately two years old this month, has me.

I did not quite understand this until two years into what promises to be one of my longer relationships, I noticed he had trained me to do the following:

* play with him when he wants to play
* not play with him when he doesn't want to play
* wake up when he wants me to wake up
* cuddle when he wants me to cuddle
* feed him what he likes
* not feed him what he doesn't like
* be polite about his displeasure at me preparing to leave the house
* share my popcorn with him
* throw the ball and then fetch it for him. Repeatedly.
* yes he will go on the kitchen counter and what do you mean not the stove
* move the bureau so he can crawl under it
* open the curtains
* open the window
* type with one hand because he needs me to scratch his ear with the other


As the Con Edison Meter Reader Lady said as she stepped over him to get to the meter, "He doesn't have to move. It's his house."

Two years ago, nobody warned me. Now it's too late.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Spring Is In The Air Or At Least In The Hallway



Knowing when Rags was headed out for a walk, Jupiter had trained me to open the door so he could gaze upon his unrequited love.

But today, the weather softer, the days longer and rumbles of urges to linger at trees, Rags, tail wagging cheerfully gave Jupiter the equivalent of a flirtatious shy hello - she followed him into the apartment.

And what did Jupiter do when faced with the possibility of an actual conversation with the dog he loved? What every wooing beau does. He ran in the other direction.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Sunday Memories: The Days of Frostbite

A two-month old Jupiter, then called Jimmy, when he was brought into the shelter with his five brothers and sisters. So sick, they were slotted to be put to death when a friend showed up 45 minutes before it was scheduled, brought them home and nursed them back to health.




Some folks say their pet saved their life. At least a guy on a PBS show said that.

I don't think Jupiter saved my life.




I think he saved me from frostbite seeping into my life and killing off bits and pieces. If it hadn't been for him, I would have lived just fine for years, never noticing that parts of my heart no longer felt.



The Book of Jupiter


Getting Adopted: July, 2009

Happiness and the Heart

Once I Was A Man

Adrian and Jupiter

Home Is The Bag

Even The Cat Was Found On the Street

Thank You East Village Corner

A Day In The Life

A View From A Kitchen

In the Still of the Night

Cat On A Hot Tin...

The Showdown

Still of Another Night

Catboy in Love


Old and New Sunrises

The Cat and the Couch

Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Possibilities Are Endless


Peter and Dexter were very nonchalant. After all it was just a couch to them. But for me the idea of once thought immovable history successfully dismantled and drained from my now life was impossible to grasp until after gleeful banging and ripping and pulling apart, the past disintegrated before my eyes and in its place was space where anything could happen.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Encore: GUEST ARTIST: DANA - Day of Miracles

The last in a series of encore posts and new work from Guest Artist Dana.

Thursday, December 9, 2010



It had been years because the menorah had been up in a closet and Dana couldn't reach it. This year Ping brought it down. The miracle of a helping hand.

Dana couldn't remember if there were candles but Ping found the two boxes Dana had tucked away years ago. Another miracle.

I was able, after weeks of work, to come visit. Miracle!

And then Dana sang the bruchas and for the first time in years, miracles of miracles I got to celebrate the Miracle of Lights.

Of course neither of us could remember the words to Rock Of Ages but the miracle of joy at sharing the holiday together unfolded instead.



Rock Of Ages

Rock of Ages let our song,
Praise thy saving power;
Thou amidst the raging foes,
Wast our shelt'rng tower.

Furious they assailed us,
But Thine arm availed us,
And Thy word broke their sword,
When our own strength failed us.
And Thy word broke their sword,
When our own strength failed us.

**

The Eight Days Of Miracles

Once the Maccabees had regained control they returned to the Temple in Jerusalem. By this time it had been spiritually defiled by being used for the worship of foreign gods and also by practices such as sacrificing swine. Jewish troops were determined to purify the Temple by burning ritual oil in the Temple’s menorah for eight days. But to their dismay, they discovered that there was only one day's worth of oil left in the Temple. They lit the menorah anyway and to their surprise the small amount of oil lasted the full eight days.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Sunday Memory Encore: Guest Artist Dana: Trudy and Dana

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Trudy and Dana, both 88 years old. Best friends. Trudy priority mails Dana string beans from her garden.


"We started a conversation when we were eleven and we haven't stopped yet."

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Encore: GUEST ARTIST: DANA - Time Flies....

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


It was supposed to be a brief meal.

Four hours later, I was still laughing too hard to write down everything Dana said.

But she had been warned. When one encounters a better writer than oneself one can only rip off said writer in self defense.

On certain attempts of style:

"He combs his hair with a washcloth."

On the insults of aging and limited mobility:

"I could fool anything but a flight of stairs."

On the fact her doctor is moving her office right across the street from her apartment:

"I won't be late if there's no red light."

And last, but not least, on our favorite actor:

"He's a walking sex experience."